Sonntag, 21. Juli 2019

BDSAIME: 4 days SM at Warsaw Prison

Warsaw Prison: Lady Daria
This interview is something special. Victor is a French blogger (BDSAIME – a submissive's diary) and slave, who experienced 4 days in the BDSM prision of Lady Daria in Warsaw, Poland. Lady Daria is very popular on this blog. One of my interviews with her is one of the most read article on my pages. So I am delighted to be able to give you an insight into her education today, which is described from the other side: by a slave. Enjoy!

Lady Sas: Please introduce yourself. Who are you and how did you come in contact with BDSM?
BDSAIME: My name is Victor, I am a 25 years old French submissive. My sexual fantasies have always been around only what BDSM can offer. In middle school, I couldn’t relate to my friends’ regular interests for girls. I understood why at 13 years old or so when I first got internet at home. I went to check a porn website which I heard about from friends, I first check regular porn categories. It left me with no emotion. Then I checked the “BDSM” category, even though I didn’t even know what it meant... From then, I understood what I liked. Even at 8-9 years old, some scenes I could see on TV or situations with girls at school excited me, but at the time I couldn’t understand it as it was.

Starting at the age of 17 years old, I met dominant females. I have known pretty much everything: public parties, private parties, D/s couple, D/s-only relationships, one shots... Then I started to have a strong interest for professional mistresses, as this completely feed my intellectual pleasure and curiosity in BDSM. 

One of my ambitions in BDSM would be to meet a professional mistress in all developed countries in the world.

Interview with Victor from BDSAIME blog in France

Lady Sas: You have spent 4 days in the BDSM prison of Lady Daria with 24/7 roleplay. Why did you choose such a long education?
BDSAIME: Firstly, I have always had a thing for prisons since I was a child. I have watched dozens of documentaries and movies about prisons from all over the world.

Also, I think I tend to fall into the “always more” trap. A nice trap, though. That means that a 24/7 multi-days roleplay was the logical continuation to my -already- wide (though soft) experience in BDSM. I am always looking for something new, something that shakes me, always looking to step up somehow. 

Then, this 24/7 roleplay really offers a true loss of control, even when it comes to breaks, corporal hygiene, alimentation, sleep. It doesn’t really stop. Wherever you are in the prison, whatever you do, it is Lady Daria’s decision and control. Even when you are alone, when it’s not “game time”, her domination on you is still ongoing. 

Lady Daria, Warsaw Prison

Lady Sas: Why did you choose Lady Daria? How did you hear about her?
BDSAIME: Well, to be honest, at first, I chose more Warsaw Prison than Lady Daria. That means that such a BDSM prison service is so rare out there, that I cared more about the prison itself than the Warden. Though, I read every single word of her two websites, to know her and her approach. But it was only when I came to her that I saw that she certainly is as rare as her prison.

I heard about her just by searching “BDSM prison” in google. Then I found Warsaw Prison’s website, and it felt like a dream to me. I spent 2 hours in a row on her website, reading the same pages again and again just for the pleasure. I understood that she clearly was an above-average professional mistress, even if I don’t like to “rate” mistresses. As I wrote in my article, she has this cold intelligence, but also is intuitive and creative. The combination of these 3 factors in such intensity is very rare. 

I am so glad I found Lady Daria and her website. I must admit she amazes me. I never post anything but I check on her Fetlife account almost every day and her websites every week, looking for news. She is into constant innovation, and she is not even 35 years old yet. I can’t even imagine at what threshold her activity will be 10 or 15 years from now. I’m glad I don’t live in Poland, otherwise I would be broke by now. 

"She has this cold intelligence, but also is intuitive and creative."

Lady Sas: What were you looking for in this stay?
BDSAIME: Mainly, I was looking to be broken, to cry, to be overwhelmed, to be in such a fragile state that I couldn’t think anymore, begging to stop whatever she would be doing with me. I was looking to find something way bigger than me. Well, not only it was bigger than me, but it crushed me without notice. 

I like to say that I was ready to not be ready for this stay.

My pleasure in BDSM is above all else intellectual and emotional. I tend to be all brain-oriented (not that I like it though), and this kind of stay, because of its intensity, has the power to affect your emotions way more than a regular session. It gets into your head. I mean, maybe it is just me and not all slaves, but I even dreamed of Lady Daria at night in prison, that says a lot!

Somehow, I was also looking to find something that I could consider as a standard in BDSM. A milestone in my BDSM experiences. Something to compare my previous and upcoming experiences to. Indeed, I knew that the prison Lady Daria created was as thoughtful as a BDSM experience can be. I knew that Lady Daria was somehow a prototype of a professional mistress, as she appeared to me as intelligent, creative, careful, detail-oriented, passionate and very organized. 

Lady Sas: In short: how did it go and do you regret it?
BDSAIME: In short, it went well in the way that it went not so good. Is it clear enough? :-)
It went well because I found a very intelligent woman and a impressive mistress. I feel like I’ve found someone as detail-oriented as I am, which is rare. 
At the same time, it went not so good for the reasons I further develop here below. I was 24 years old at the time and I am pretty immature when it comes to emotions, more than an average 24 years old man.

I don’t regret it because I learned a lot thanks to this stay. Also, set aside all of these boring personal considerations, I have known some great BDSM moments. Rigorous physical immobilization, the best tape mummification I have known so far, mind game, isolation and the list goes on... Physical pleasure was here all along!

Also, whatever could have happened, I couldn’t have regret it anyway because I’m almost all about intellectual pleasure when it comes to professional mistresses. To discover, to comprehend, to be surprised, to question myself, to guess... It cannot ever be bad when you ask yourself the good questions, isn’t it? 
Lady Daria

"The control freak syndrome"

Lady Sas: Would you do it again, if it was for free?
BDSAIME: Well, actually, I will do it again and I will pay for it! So I guess that answers the question :-) . It will not be before another year at least though. I want to grow up as a person before coming back. Also, as she seems to bring a major innovation every six months or so, it is hard to decide to come. You ask yourself what will you miss six months from your stay :-) 

Lady Sas: Did you go through any development in those four days? What has changed?
BDSAIME: Yes, big time. Actually, I was disappointed about myself after the stay. I was dumb enough to not fully give myself most of the time during these 4 days. The control freak syndrome! But control has always been a self-defense system in my development. I could saw that Lady Daria was feeling my control and I don’t take any risk by saying that she have known funnier stays than mine :-) . Well, I guess that somehow I made up for it with my article that pleased her very well. 

But it’s all good, because things could have not gone another way at the time.

Also, let’s not forget that I took sexual pleasure, I was intellectually amazed by what she built, I cried out of exhaustion (which is great), I learned about myself as a person and I grew up as a slave. What else could’ve I ask for at 24 years old? 

Things have changed in the way that I give myself much more to the dominant since my stay in prison. I give more of my confidence, it’s not easy but it is necessary. Also, I fully accept what comes to me as it is and make efforts to analyze less and control less. I am still a kid, I guess I will get better every month. I am grateful to Lady Daria because this stay showed me in 4 days only what I could have learned in years with only few hours sessions. 

Lady Sas: Lady Daria taught you 3 different positions: attention, relax and ready. Can you describe them?
BDSAIME: It’s been almost a year since I have stayed in prison, and I must admit I don’t really remember about these positions now, especially since military drill is not a big thing to me. It is something that I like in the way that I must follows rules from a woman who has control over me, but it is not something that excites me by itself. 

Also, I made so much mistakes here and here, had some attitude, that I saw that she became less strict on these positions. I easily guess the more discipline and good the slave is, the stricter she is on the perfection of these positions as she is always looking for good reasons to punish the slave and reminds him who’s in charge. That’s why I guess that for my next stay in prison, she will certainly be stricter on it with me, as I will do much less dumb mistakes. 

Victor from BDSAIME blog about his stay at Warsaw Prison

Lady Sas: What was the worst punishment for you?
BDSAIME: The worst punishment for me was the night when I had to copy thousand lines in a notebook. I didn’t even do it. That is the night I could have given up. I lost it, for totally different reasons. I won’t get into details here, but I was completely affected by an emotional state I couldn’t control. You need to know that I came a very long way in my young life. The stay is so intense in every possible way that it awaked something that took me years to cope with and still going! My masochism is directly related to what happened to me growing up, I guess I’m not the only one in this case. 

Anyway! All of this to say that this night I was torn apart between copy the lines to please Lady Daria and my pitiful mental state. I was out of my mind, really. I yelled her name in my cell, but she didn’t come. I don’t know whether she couldn’t hear me or just ignored me. I almost press the emergency button. I am glad she didn’t come that night though. If she did, things could have gone wrong because of me and the stay would have ended. I wouldn’t even have cared to be alone on my own at night in a country I know nothing about. But I guess she would have refused kicking me out at night, as the responsible person she seems to be.

I finally just felt asleep to stop feel anything. I was exhausted and deeply depressed. In the morning I was feeling much better and rational at last. But I didn’t copy the lines I was supposed to copy!

The worst punishment, personal emotional state set aside, was to sit on the penalty hedgehog each day to made up for my mistakes. It really was an effective punishment. I was so scared of it and didn’t take the slightest pleasure in it.  

Warsaw Prison

Lady Sas: Did Lady Daria let you worship her? Like kissing her shoes? Or was she very distant?
BDSAIME: Lady Daria has a distant and cold style of domination. Even direct physical contact with her is rare, way more than with some other mistresses. 
Unfortunately, I didn’t have the chance to worship her. The closest thing to it was when she immersed my face in her butt. It lasted only few seconds. This scene stills loop in my head from time to time even almost a year after, because physical contact with her was so rare and because I really didn’t expect her to do this at that moment. She surprised me. 

I really love physical contact with the mistress, i.e. facesitting, handsmother... Next time, I think I will put emphasis on this. It’s tricky though, because the last thing I want is to her forcing her nature. But I guess she is not of the type to do something she doesn’t like anyway. 

I did kiss her shoes once though, when I was in the penalty hedgehog time. I did it to try to beg her to stop it. But begging this way leaves her totally unconcerned, cold sadistic woman she is, it only encourages her to hurt you more.

By the way, one particularity of Lady Daria is that she doesn’t offer foot fetish. That goes well with her distant style of domination. I’ve browsed hundreds of mistresses’ websites and she is the only one that I saw who says no to foot worship. It’s cool! It brings more diversity and she steps out from the crowd. I wonder if other mistresses also are not interested in foot worship but offer it anyway because of its popularity with slaves. At the end of the day, it’s still a business.

"I almost gave up twice." – Victor at Warsaw Prison

Lady Sas: How many times did you want to give up?
BDSAIME: I almost gave up twice. The first time has been mentioned in a previous question, during the last night of my stay. The intensity of it can shake you as a person and not only as a slave. Both really are related in a 24/7 experience, that’s why some slaves give up during their stay. 

The second time I almost gave up was on the last day on my stay, during the lunch break. It was just too much, I couldn’t take it anymore. The anal game just before had gone wrong (nothing of Lady Daria’s fault), I was tired, emotionally exhausted from this night before... I even had a little argument with Lady Daria before staying alone in the cell for the lunch break, and she seemed angry like out-of-the-roleplay angry. I can be exhausting sometimes. I didn’t apologize directly to her back home, as I know she saw I wasn’t even in control of myself at that time.
I had to use self-hypnosis to regain enthusiasm for the rest of the day and set aside my bad feelings. Hypnosis is one of the things I have learned to help myself with my life experience. Without this little trick of mine, the last day would have been too much. I actually would have given up when she would have pick me up after the break. It was my decision before trying my hypno-thing trick. The rest of the day was pretty cool, especially the mummification at the very end, so thank god I didn’t give up! 

Thanks to this hindsight, I am confident about the fact I will be able to endure even more of everything the next time and that I will have an entire different approach to my stay. Only few hours after my stay, sitting at the airport, I felt so far away from all of this. 

Warden Lady Daria

"Listen to her and her advice"

Lady Sas: What tips do you have for other slaves who want to try it?
BDSAIME: Well, firstly, when getting in touch with Lady Daria for the reservation, listen to her and her advice. Myself, I didn’t know whether I wanted to stay for 4 days or for 5 days. Her advice for me was 3 days. I didn’t listen to her and I finally chose a 4 days stay... I don’t regret my choice, but 5 days really would have been too much for me at the time, given my lack of maturity and how the stay challenged me. 4 days was very close to be too much for me as you just read. She was right from the beginning. Here again, she amazes me!

Also, I would tell slaves who want to try this experience that they need to know why do they like BDSM, they need to understand themselves pretty well to be prepared for such an extreme experience. You have to know that several slaves give up during the stay, even though they are experienced men, more than 50 years old!

I would so say that you must love BDSM and submission even when you are not physically excited, because this experience will first of all get into your head. 

Lady Sas: Many thanks for your detailed answers and interesting insights, Victor.

  • Find out more about BDSAIME Blog 
  • Read the Interview with Mistress Daria about Warsaw Prison
  • Read the first Interview with Mistress Daria about herself
  • Read more exciting Femdom Interviews in English
  • Learn more about Lady Sas

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