Lady Sas: Dear Violetta, you have your own BDSM studio, you train Ladies as professional Dominatrixes, you give workshops and coachings, you manage Ultravioletta (an agency for kinky topics), you run a slave contact agency, you organize femdom parties – and now you’re also studying to become a psychotherapist. Do you ever find time to sleep?
Violetta Stahl: When I hear that list, I’m also surprised at how much I’m doing. But no worries: It doesn’t give me any sleepless nights (smiles).
Lady Sas: Most people are busy with one project. But you have several at once. What drives you? Where do you get your passion to pursue so many interests?
Violetta Stahl: Naturally, you need to see the individual projects on context. There are many overlaps between them. This certainly makes their large number more manageable. My projects complement each other and in combination, they paint a single picture of how I live my passion for BDSM — both professionally and in private. Ever since I first discovered my dominant side, I’ve wanted to explore more of the kinky world each day. But the world of kink also grows through the passions and dreams that we share with others, the thoughts and experiences we exchange, and the inspiration we give. Just as I have been inspired by others, so also I would like to inspire people to live their kinky desires. In living out our desires, we must always be conscious that we’re interacting with other people, who are as diverse as humanity itself: in their wishes, their passions, their dreams, their desires. The greatest form of pleasure for one person might be trivial or even a turn-off for others. My desire to communicate with other people is just as important as my desire to live out my passion. As a Dominatrix, I am privileged to practice my dream profession, and have created my own play-space in an independent environment that I use for my sessions but also in order to inspire others with my passion. In this space, every lady who participates in my workshops and seminars can explore and develop her own personal preferences in a sheltered environment. Additional elements such as arranging slaves and practice pets, and play parties in intimate settings offer an opportunity to dive deeper into the kinky world, explore the full range of possible play and overcome any inhibitions.
Lady Sas: You worked in marketing for fifteen years: Does this background help you in your projects?
Violetta Stahl: My professional background is a key foundation for my business activities — if you don’t limit marketing to advertising or sales support, but see it more broadly as an integrative aspect of managing a company. Many participants in my seminars set up their own business as a way of relaunching their career or reorienting themselves professionally or building up an additional source of income. My background as a marketing coach combined with my experience as a Dominatrix are at the centre of the value proposition that I offer in my projects.
Lady Sas: A very fundamental question: How important are marketing skills for a professional Dominatrix?
Violetta Stahl: Just like any other project or service provider, a Dominatrix must consider basic aspects of marketing in order to be successful. In the end, Dominatrix is also a profession. Knowing the market environment, reflecting trends, identifying and addressing a target group, building an understanding of your own market offering are just as important in this profession as basic business skills. This doesn’t sound very sexy, but it is an important success factor – in addition to the BDSM skills and social competence of the Dominatrix, as well as a passion for kink. And we all want to be successful. As the saying goes: success makes you sexy!
Lady Sas: In your personal experience: Do you think BDSM is attracting more or less interest?
Violetta Stahl: This is a difficult question. It’s hardly possible to prove statistically that more people are interested in BDSM nowadays. However, we can observe that it is much more present in the media. This would seem to support the feeling that interest in BDSM seems to have grown. Certainly reporting on related topics has multiplied compared to a few years ago. The number of fetish parties, places to buy toys and fashion, and also related Internet communities has increased massively. But it’s hard to establish whether a couple who are publicly living out their passion for BDSM in a club or at a party are really new to the scene - and thus an indicator of growing interest. The increase in opportunities to enjoy a kinky experience outside the privacy of the home creates the impression that more people are interested in BDSM. But this doesn’t mean that many of these people weren’t already living out their passion in private.
Lady Sas: You also train Ladies as Dominatrices. Is this really a worthwhile pursuit, as there are already so many studios?
Violetta Stahl: I don’t think that this is really a question of quantity. How dynamic the scene is cannot simply be inferred from the number of femdom establishments. Especially as the activities of a Dominatrix are not limited to the confines of a studio. Depending on your inclination, the form of role-play and the personal preferences of both play partners, many locations are possible. The “classic BDSM studio” as I call it is just one of those. BDSM is a very varied playground on which everyone can live out his or her kinky desires, however diverse they are. I can only say from my own experience that there’s an increasing number of women who are interested in professional Domination, and are also seriously contemplating working as a Dominatrix, often in addition to a “normal” profession. These women come from many different career backgrounds and each of them introduces new aspects to the way they want to practice as a Dominatrix. They have their own individual ideas and dominant desires – just as men also have many different individual fantasies. This always triggers intense and engaged discussions at my workshops and seminars, which are a source of new inspiration. Both for myself and for the participating Ladies! And few things are more wonderful to experience these new influences and their new, creative ideas.
Lady Sas: What are the most common “beginner’s mistakes” that you observe in your trainee Dommes?
Violetta Stahl: There isn’t really a typical beginner’s mistake. As with most pursuits in life, you need to stay dedicated. Those who’ve had a first taste and want to live out their passion should pursue this path, to find out where their personal interests lie and try to explore what they enjoy most. It’s true that curiosity is often restrained by understandable inhibitions. That’s why it’s always important to remember that your play partner is another human being. We are all different, and have our own personal preferences, fetishes and taboos. An activity that doesn’t really work with one play partner could, with a different partner, trigger an emotional and erotic firework! Perhaps because there’s a better alignment of fetishes and preferences. For this reason, it’s always important to talk before playing. If you can find out the other person’s likes, dreams and fantasies, as well as his or her limits, you’ve already set the foundation for an enjoyable play. And during your play, you can also build an atmosphere of trust by communicating and sharing feedback with your partner, so both can live out their passion.
Lady Sas: Du you have any advice for young Dommes who are just starting out or for women who have newly discovered a passion for dominance?
Violetta Stahl: If you’re curious, then you shouldn’t shy away from taking the first step. To try out what is possible and explore your own preferences. Every play, whether in private or in a professional session, offers new inspiration and teaches you more about the game of domination as well as about your play partners. But most of all about yourself.
Lady Sas: Do you think it’s possible to work as a Dominatrix for your whole life? Or is it only possible to practice this profession for a limited time?
Violetta Stahl: In my experience, Dominatrix is a profession that can be practiced irrespective of your age. The participants in my workshops come from all age groups, with some in their early twenties while others are of a more mature age. Every woman wants to live out her sexuality – some more and others less intensely. Quite a few are interested in spicing things up with some kinky elements. Age is no barrier for this, especially as the preferences of submissive men also cover a broad spectrum: the Grande Dame is just as much an object of male desire as the young Domme. As long as you’re physically fit enough, some games are possible at any age. What matters more is having a passion for BDSM. But that’s not a question of age!
Lady Sas: How have you experienced the development pof the BDSM and fetish industry in recent years? Do you have any particular observations?
Violetta Stahl: The BDSM and fetish scene of today is certainly more diverse than 15 years ago. Not least because of the Internet, which offers many opportunities to learn more about BDSM, establish contact with others and dive into the world of kink. This certainly broadens the range of BDSM offerings — be it parties, fashion or communities. Also, the topic of kink is more present in the media nowadays. This offers the curious more opportunities to live out their passion than they had a few years ago. It’s also exciting to see how fashion is increasingly adopting materials that are used in the fetish scene or that are associated with the BDSM and fetish activities. This is another sign of the growth in diversity.
Lady Sas: Do you see BDSM developing further or have things stagnated over recent years? Where have you observed new ideas?
Violetta Stahl: The BDSM scene is also undergoing constant change. There is always a stream of new influences, both today and in the future. Luckily, the curiosity of BDSM players and fetishists knows almost no bounds. Everyone likes to experiment and this enriches the scene as a whole. Of course we have to wait and see which developments will have an impact outside the BDSM scene. Political moves to change Germany’s prostitution laws could have an impact on how a Dominatrix can legally conduct her profession. There could also be a significant impact on studios, locations and clubs. Personally, I really hope that we won’t see the establishment of an environment that makes it harder for people to live out their kinky passions and thus also restricts diversity.
Lady Sas: One last question: Do you have any personal goals for the coming year?
Violetta Stahl: I would like to meet more interesting people who share my love and curiosity of bizarre passions. My very special wish for the new year is to live BDSM together with others, creating a diverse environment in which we can enjoy our passion and explore new facets of BDSM as well as discover new things about ourselves.
Lady Sas: Dear Violetta, thank you so much for your interesting answers.
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